Psoriasis and intimacy: 6 tips for talking to a partner

For some people, having psoriasis may affect sex and intimacy. Common symptoms like itching, pain, and visible skin lesions can cause physical discomfort as well as mental distress. Some with the skin condition also develop genital psoriasis, which occurs when lesions appear on and around some of the most sensitive areas of the body.

While it can present challenges, enjoying a healthy sex life is possible when you have psoriasis—it may just take some extra work and communication with your partner. Start by having a candid conversation. Be open and honest, explain how psoriasis makes you feel, and talk about how it might affect intimacy. Try these tips to help the discussion along.

Discuss the cause of psoriasis

It's important for your partner to know that psoriasis is an autoimmune disease, and not an infection or contagious illness. It's also important for them to understand that psoriasis on the genitals may be different in appearance than psoriasis on other areas of the body. Answer any questions your partner has and encourage them to do research.

Have the conversation early

Don’t put off having a talk about psoriasis. While it may not be a discussion for the first date, don’t wait until you’re about to have sex to tell your partner about it. Once you’re ready to have the conversation, make sure you have enough time to talk and answer questions.

Choose the right location

It’s normal to feel anxious about discussing your psoriasis with a partner. Minimize that worry by picking a setting where you feel safe and comfortable. To avoid adding extra pressure, you may want to steer clear of the bedroom or other intimate settings.

Don’t neglect the emotional aspects of sex

When you’re talking to a partner, make sure to discuss the emotional impact of the condition as well as the physical. People with psoriasis, especially genital psoriasis, sometimes report feelings of embarrassment and low self-esteem. They may avoid sex and relationships because of these feelings. It's important to have a partner who is sympathetic to your emotional vulnerabilities, and for you to be comfortable expressing them.

Discuss limitations and possibilities

At some point, genital psoriasis may limit what you’re capable of enjoying on a given day. Make sure that your partner understands this. Also, keep in mind other ways of sexual expression that may be possible during times when symptoms are flaring.

Communicate your needs

Sometimes, psoriasis may feel like a burden on the relationship. You may feel like you need to make it up to your partner or be eager to show that it isn’t as much of an issue as it seems. Don’t forget about your own needs, feelings, and pleasure—and make sure your partner knows what they are.