How to support someone with bipolar disorder

Bipolar disorder is often a lifelong mental health condition. Someone with bipolar disorder may deal with stigma, doctors, the healthcare system, insurance, and many other challenges. In the face of all that, what’s a loved one to do?

The magic question

While bipolar disorder can feel overwhelming for the person with the condition and their loved ones, there is really one magical question to remember to ask: What can I do to help?

Yes, it’s only six little words, but they mean so much to anyone who’s managing the disorder. No one knows better about what they need than the person. This one question shows you care, that you’re not judging, and that you’re willing to do whatever the person needs. That’s a powerful message, and all in six little words.

Things you can say to show support

Here are three more statements anyone with bipolar disorder might really appreciate hearing:

• I love and care about you and I always will.
• This illness hasn’t changed how I think of you or how I feel about you.
• I’m here for you. I will not abandon you.

Again, these aren’t complicated sentiments, but they’re what people need to hear when they’re afraid.

Practical ways to show support 

In addition to giving emotional support, here are other things you can do to help a person with bipolar disorder:

• Take some time to learn about the person’s condition and bipolar treatment. This knowledge will help you both out more than you can imagine.
• Respect the individual’s wishes about treatment whenever possible.
• Offer to drive the person to and from medical appointments or pick up prescriptions.
• Offer to attend appointments and take notes. Anyone can have a hard time remembering exactly what a doctor said.
• Offer to pick up groceries or make dinner one night.
• Offer to do the laundry or cleaning.
• Offer to check in if they’re in crisis.
• Find a mental health support group for you and for them.

Let the person tell you what support they need, but remember they may feel shy about asking for help. Only offer support that you know you can follow through on. One person can’t do everything, even if you truly want to. Set limits, and take care of yourself, too.

What support can mean for a person with bipolar disorder

Remember, you’re not a superhero. You can’t do everything, nor can you get everything right all the time. But your support still matters, and it matters a great deal. Having a backstop against a condition that can seem to take over your entire life is valuable beyond words. I’ve been there.