How strong relationships can support your health

Being in a loving partnership can provide long-term health benefits and may even add years to your life. But other close connections can impart similar perks. Sharing a tight bond with a friend, family member, or someone else within your social circle can help you lower disease risk and live healthier every day.

“You don't have to be married or even living with someone to feel supported, to talk about things that matter, to know someone has your back,” says Lonnie Barbach, PhD, a couple's therapist in private practice in Mill Valley, California, and co-author of Going the Distance: Finding and Keeping Lifelong Love. The healthiest connection is the one that’s authentic to you.

Among their potential pluses, robust personal relationships may help:

• Protect heart health and reduce the chances of developing heart disease
• Support the immune system
• Ease chronic pain
• Lower the risk of mental decline
• Safeguard mental health

These benefits are deeply rooted in how strong connections can support your mind and body. Here are some ways they do so.

Strong relationships protect against stress

Stressful times can worsen or trigger bouts of depression and anxiety. They may also lead some people to adopt harmful coping mechanisms—like smoking or drinking too much alcohol—that increase disease risk and the potential for accidents.

If that stress is prolonged, the damage can increase. When your body senses a threat, it releases chemicals called hormones that are meant to help you survive. This “fight-or-flight” response can be lifesaving in a dangerous situation. But chronic stress can cause your body to remain in this mode continually. Over time, it raises the chances of developing health conditions, including high blood pressure and heart disease.

Having a strong bond can help ease stress, largely because of the support offered by the other person. “In a happy relationship, where you have someone to talk to about difficult things, stress is reduced,” says Barbach.

No matter who it comes from, this support can foster feelings of security and confidence, which help to mitigate stress. It’s also linked to producing less cortisol, the primary hormone in the “fight-or-flight” response.

Strong relationships reduce loneliness

Loneliness isn’t the same as being alone—it’s a sense of loss from not having meaningful connections. About one-third of adults in the United States report feeling lonely, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). Feeling lonely on a regular basis has been linked to a significantly greater chance of dying prematurely.

Whether you go for a walk with a friend, talk to a family member on the phone, or make dinner together with your partner, a strong bond often provides a social outlet, reducing loneliness. It also fosters happiness, connection, and even a sense of belonging.

Want to learn how your relationships might affect your well-being? Try tracking your interactions over time and noting how they correspond with your overall health. Use a pen and paper or smartphone app to take notes. Sharecare, available for iOS and Android, features a relationship tracker so you can log the meaningful connections you make each day.

Strong relationships lend purpose

A loving relationship is a two-way street. Just as someone is important to you, you’re important to them. Understanding this can give you a sense of purpose and meaning, which studies suggest lead to improved well-being. For example, you may be encouraged to adopt healthy habits, so you can better be there for that person.

This is often evident in happy, long-term marriages. “You have a purpose in supporting your person and taking care of them,” explains Barbach. “We do find that people who have that sort of meaning in life feel better. They're happier and they live longer."

Strong relationships can promote healthy habits

There are many ways a close tie can encourage healthy behaviors, including the following.

Looking out for your health

A loved one can make sure you take your medication, help you manage your weight, and safeguard your well-being in other ways. Studies show that married people, for example, are more likely than unpartnered people to seek routine preventive healthcare.

Helping to shape your behavior

Our habits often reflect those of the people closest to us. If you spend a lot of time with someone who avoids smoking, gets a lot of physical activity, and eats a healthy diet, you may be more likely to do those things. But the opposite can be true, as well. If your partner drinks a lot of alcohol, there’s a good chance you might pick up the habit.

Limit harmful connections

Every long-term relationship has ups and downs. In fact, a friendship’s ability to weather the bad times can be a sign of a strong connection. But if you consistently feel drained, sad, angry, small, or guilty when you’re with someone, it may be a sign to scale back.

Why? Not every relationship benefits your well-being. Any bond can support your health if it’s a source of comfort and mutual growth—but not if it’s a source of continual stress. That goes for long-term friendships, family connections, and romantic relationships.

“I think people are loneliest in a relationship or a marriage that’s unhappy,” says Barbach. “You feel alienated and alone—more so than if you were totally by yourself.” If you and your partner have felt repeatedly hurt by each other, a licensed couples therapist can help. A counselor can offer the tools and guidance you need to communicate more effectively.

If a romantic relationship shows signs of abuse—such as manipulation, volatility, belittling, or physical harm—it’s important to get help. Speak with a trusted friend, your HCP, or reach out to the National Domestic Violence Hotline by calling 800-799-7233 or texting START to 88788.

Build strong relationships

A solid relationship doesn’t happen out of nowhere. Frequently, it takes initiative, time, and effort on both sides. While you may not know where to begin, there are many effective ways to create more personal connections. You may want to try the following.

• Adopt a pet. Your new best friend can help introduce you to the neighborhood and other pet lovers.
• Take classes or join an active hobby or athletics group in your area.
• Volunteer. It can improve your community while making you feel better about yourself, says Barbach. “You’re giving back, being useful and meeting people at the same time.”

To build bonds and support well-being at the same time, try to combine social activities with other health boosters, like staying mentally active, walking daily, and spending time in green spaces.