Everyone has their own way of communicating. Even when you know someone well, they can occasionally express something that you don’t quite understand. So, we learn and adjust along the way, figuring out the best ways to talk with the people around us.
When your child has attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and has trouble focusing on conversations, everyday communication can be a challenge. But being able to get and keep their attention is essential, especially when you have something important to say. Adapting your communication style to better suit their needs is one of the best ways to make a positive connection.
ADHD communication tips
Whether you’re relaying directions, warning of a safety issue, or simply letting them know you care, it’s important that children receive certain messages. Try these expert tips for connecting and maintaining the focus of a child with ADHD.
Don't shout
On long days that test your patience, this tip could be easier said than done. It may help to remember that some people with ADHD enjoy being part of conflict because it feels exciting. So, when your kid is pressing your buttons, take a deep breath and try to avoid yelling.
Break it down
When you need to give instructions that may be a bit complicated, dole out the details one at a time and make a checklist that covers everything.
Do not disturb
To keep interruptions to a minimum, try not to ramble. Keep your sentences short and to the point. And when your kid is ready to respond, don't cut in. Otherwise, they may not be able to stay focused.
Stay in touch
If it seems like their mind is wandering, gently touch their arm or hand to bring their attention back to you.
Get cooking
Some parents and caregivers find that conversation comes more naturally when they're doing something active with their child, like making dinner or doing yard work.
Use "when/then" statements
For example, you could say, "When you finish your homework, then you can go play basketball." This tip works well for all kids because it clearly sets expectations and rewards.
Put it in writing
If it's something really important, write it down in a way that's easy for them to understand. Better yet, have them write it in their own words, so you know for sure if you're on the same page.
Sources: HealthyChildren.org (AAP). Adapting a St... + 2
- HealthyChildren.org (AAP). Adapting a Style of Communication with Your Child with ADHD. November 13, 2019.
- The Royal Children’s Hospital Melbourne (AUS). ADHD – ways to help children at school and home. Accessed July 17, 2025.
- Understood.org. Following Instructions: Tips and Strategies. Accessed July 17, 2025.
