Discussions about weight can be touchy. And certain comments, even made with the best intentions, can hurt a person’s mental and physical health.

There is a thin line between supporting a loved one and casting judgment, and in some cases, it may be best not to weigh in at all. “Most people who are overweight know that they are overweight,” says Nicole Fearing, MD, a bariatric surgeon with Menorah Medical Center in Overland Park, Kansas. In other words, calling attention to it probably isn’t necessary.

“It doesn't matter who you talk to—you want to make sure you’re not shaming people about their weight,” she adds.

Read on to learn what not to say to someone who is overweight.