Be less furious: 7 smart tips to a calmer you

Whether you’re irritated by inconveniences or fly into a fury at the slightest provocation, we can all benefit from learning to cope effectively with anger. Not only can rage and resentment amplify stress and damage relationships, but it may raise your heart rate and blood pressure, increasing the risk of heart issues.

Anger is an emotional reaction to a perceived threat. It can feel different for different people and manifest in a variety of ways, both mentally and physically. So, it’s important to recognize its wide range of warning signs.

• Physically, a person may sweat, shake, breathe quickly, or feel their heart race or chest tighten. They may develop a headache, stomachache, or muscle tension. Their jaw may tense. They may grow red in the face.
• Mentally, a person may feel guilt, resentment, irritation, insecurity, humiliation, jealousy, or fear. Feeling out of control is common, too.

Anger can also change the way we act. An angry person may shout, slam, throw things, or pace around. They may behave aggressively towards others, becoming verbally abusive or physically violent. Or, they may turn that aggression inward, punishing themselves through negative self-talk or isolation.

Figuring out how to deal with anger is important to living a healthier life. Try these steps next time you have a difficult time controlling your temper.

Identify what makes you angry

It’s important to figure out what factors tend to trigger your anger, so you can better address the problem. While you might not be able to change all of the frustrating parts of your life, you can change how you approach the situation.

For example, if your city-dweller commute is leaving you stressed, try listening to calming music or reading a book. Alternatively, try a different method of transportation if your current one leaves you burnt out, or make small tweaks to your route. That might involve hopping off the train or bus one stop early and using the extra steps to energize before walking into the office.

Try meditation or other relaxation strategies

Meditation can be an easy, everyday way to bring a sense of calm back into your life. If you don’t have the time for a daily session or find yourself in the midst of a stressful situation, try going for a walk, listening to calming music, or simply closing your eyes and taking a few deep breaths.

Communicate more effectively

If your anger stems from interactions with a friend, colleague, or loved one, the best way to deal with it could be through open communication. Talking through your problems, instead of letting them fester inside of you, often leads to a solution that leaves both parties a lot happier.

Remember, though, that a crucial aspect of problem solving is listening. Keep an open mind when discussing your issues with others, as they may have solutions you have not even considered.

Exercise

When you’re feeling furious, get up and move around. Increasing your endorphins through exercise can help manage anger and induce calm in the moment. And in the long-term, establishing and sticking to a fitness routine can improve your overall physical and mental health.

Research suggests that some vigorous activities like jogging or hitting a bag may actually amp up angry feelings rather than soothe them—but everyone is different, so choose a workout that works for you. It could be a mind-body exercise like tai chi or yoga, a group sport, or a fitness class. Even low-impact pastimes such as gardening and walking can be beneficial.

Speak with a mental health professional

If you are having a hard time controlling your frustration, or if your anger comes out in violent bursts, there is a lot of benefit in seeking out a psychologist or an anger management program. Getting help from experts can be the best step toward managing your outbursts and living a happier life.

Speak with your healthcare provider or a trusted friend for a recommendation or reach out to a professional organization like the American Psychological Association for referrals.

Redirect your anger to something positive

Unfortunately, the situations that anger us are often more memorable than the many little instances that make our lives happier. When you’re stressed, rather than fixate on the things that are ticking you off, redirect your emotions. Think of all of the good in your life—whether it’s family, friends, work, personal successes, or just small things that you appreciate.

Of course, this is not to say that your anger is not valid or that you should suppress those feelings without addressing their source. In fact, confronting your negative emotions can help you deal with them.

Let it go

There will always be some frustrating aspects of our lives that we can’t change. There are also sources of anger that we feel we’ve dealt with, but we keep going over in our minds.

In both cases, it’s better to stop dwelling on it. Let the past go and move on toward a more contented future. You may find yourself less angry—and a little happier—overall.